Why I Am

2 min readJan 11, 2024

A brief introduction to PastorZen

Here’s a question I get sometimes..

Why do you go by ‘PastorZen’? (bit of an odd mashup, I know.)

To be fair, my first idea was melcZedek (I won’t get into that here.)

My next idea was Pastor Z. As in, the last pastor. Before we hit infinity, and preachers are obsolete. But then this name dropped in my spirit one day.

And it clicked immediately.

See, I was raised Christian. Some may say, I survived the ordeal. In college I rebelled a bit, but still was pretty spiritual. (I knew too much to think this was all an accident, part of why I struggle understanding how atheists do it.)

Practiced Buddhism in college. Read a bunch of extra-biblical texts, studied other religions, philosophies, and cultures. I was a seeker in the sense that i genuinely didn’t know what was real.

Ultimately, I still don’t.

I guess that’s why it’s called faith.

I got to the end of my human understanding, and realised it wasn’t enough. I’m not perfect. Nor will I ever achieve ‘Nirvana’ (whatever that means).

As I looked around, seemed to me that most people who had it figured out were either pretending, or too scared to ask the questions.

So, I made up my own religion. (Kind of.)

Let’s call it, “Love“ (s/o Bob Marley)

Christ was still the centrepiece. But I couldn’t submit to human authority, nor would I respect ‘professional Christian’ opinions over my own.

My mother was (and still is) a super religious woman. I had all the books of the Bible memorised by the time I was 8 or 9. Studying scripture has always been normal for me.

As I grew, and began to dabble in more eastern traditions, but couldn’t in good faith rid myself of the lessons learned along the way.

I couldn’t pretend that I had all the answers either.

Nor that the Bible (as presently constructed in Western sussiety) contained the entirety of all spiritual revelation.

“PastorZen” to me represents an experiment in exploration.

A combinatiom of east and west.

An honest engagement with Truth, and an open discussion with others of faith who are genuine in their search for it. Ultimately where this goes is up to Him.

I’m just having fun, writing rhymes in the process.

Hoping you enjoy a few.


~ Zen