Steve, Betty & Resolutions

Your New Years Resolution will likely fail.

(again)

Sorry…

But the fact is, more than half of resolutions are abandoned within the first few weeks of January.

That number balloons to 80% by the time we get to Valentines Day.

Its almost as if something is wrong with us.

We know intellectually what needs to be done, I’m even sure that we intrinsically understand what we should be doing on a practical level —

Yet, sooner that you can shout “happy new year”, your subconscious mind begins to hack away at anything inside your inner being that even slightly resembles the willpower necessary to push through the inevitable adversity, and remain relatively consistent.

I think the problem is, that we are working against ourselves.

Young Walt.

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself;

I am large, I contain multitudes.

Walt Whitman

This isn’t to say that you can’t make the changes necessary to improve your lot in life or increase your chances at ultimate success.

Just, that you probably won’t.

At least, part of you won’t.

Why?

Because you’re too comfortable.

Yes. You — I said it.

(…and honestly, I am too. But that’s beside the point.)

I’m not necessarily saying that you’re happy where you are — but there’s a sizable gap between being happy and being ‘fine’.

Let’s break it down.

There are a couple “yous” floating around inside that body of yours, and one of them is hellbent on staying put.

We’ll call that one Stagnant Steve.

The other, more idealistic you, is probably the one that made the resolution in the first place; full of ideas and hope.

We’ll call her Brilliant Betty.

Steve is all about the now. He loves pursuing things that give the overarching ‘you’ that pleasure inducing release of dopamine. Momentary bliss is what Steve lives for, and he’s pretty good at getting his way.

Betty, on the other hand is more concerned about your tomorrows. She likes to plan things ahead of time, and work toward a more lasting injection of serotonin, enhancing your overall well-being.

At each moment, there’s an implicit tussle ongoing between these two characters.

The problem is, Betty doesn’t exercise all that much. In fact, due to our microwave culture that produces shortened attention spans at scale, she probably doesn’t exercise at all.

Everything we’re encouraged to do in 2020 is geared towards the now, which is fine — but, that’s Steve’s domain.

So, no matter how much Betty plans and strategizes, once the time comes to actually do something — Steve shows up and ruins the party with his insistence on remaining comfy.

Comfort and change do not go well together, in fact they are fundamentally incompatible.

“A comfort zone is a pretty place, but nothing ever grows there”

Why am I telling you all this?

I mean, it’s almost Christmas. Way past it for most of you reading this.

If Betty ain’t in shape now…

Then there’s no way she’s getting a 6-pack by January 1st.

So, my solution is — don’t plan for next year.

In fact, don’t plan at all.

Just begin in each moment, doing things you don’t necessarily ‘like’ doing.

Go for a jog.

Write a few paragraphs.

Call up your friend.

Start an online course.

Engage those atrophied muscles of change, and in turn, change your very state of being right now. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

In order to achieve any lasting success, you need to become the type of person who is successful.

So sure, keep a to-do list.

It won’t hurt.

But recognize that in most cases, planning does NOT lead to success.

Doing does.

If you can manage to transform yourself into the type of individual who loves the grind, enjoys the work, and revels in the journey — you in effect become unstoppable. Reaching goals become an extension of your natural state.

Because when Brilliant Betty turns into Six-Pack Betty and starts running the show of your subconscious, there is absolutely nothing Steve can do but get out of the way.

In fact, Steve will have to begin planning his down time around your now ingrained sense of self, rooted in accomplishing whatever task you set your mind to, and not the other way around.

So effectively, planning leads to procrastination.

Who knew.

One other reason we often fail, is because we don’t know our why.

Sure, we know the what.

And may even know the how.

But… with the why?

A lot of us aren’t so sure.

Hint: the answer is not money.

I think, this is a derivative of existing in a culture steeped in surface level values.

We are mired in mediocrity, and don’t mind comparing our situations to those of other people who frankly, have no clue what they are doing.

Instead of showing up, we end up showing out — or slowing down.

Showing out means to perform in order to keep up appearances.

Slowing down means to meander about life looking for someone else doing worse than you; so that you can feel okay about your lackadaisical attitude.

Neither is good.

Here’s a thought experiment I just made up.

Imagine you’re 10 years in the future. It’s 2030, and our world is changing at a pace that doesn’t even make sense to us today.

Robots populate the streets, Amazon drones are dropping off packages on your lawn, retina scans are now used for public transportation, the works.

Now, in this future, you don’t work a regular 9–5 anymore.

You probably do one of two things — or some combination of;

1. You have a self-run business that likely relies heavily on some sort of JARVIS-type artificial intelligence system (i.e. no employees) or,
2. You focus on creating. With UBI now the standard — shoutout Andrew Yang — you’re not worried about bills any longer, and are free to start making and sharing as much quality artwork (or literature… or music) as you possible can.

Tony Stark will forever be the man. In fact, I need to go re-watch Ironman right now.

In such an ecosystem, what become the most important skills?

Planning is rendered virtually useless, as day to day occurrences can rarely be predicted with any level of certainty. Especially if you don’t have the latest Google algorithms uploaded to your brain via Neuralink.

Knowledge (in it’s archaic form of data and information) is also pretty well out of fashion, since super computers now run shit, anybody can effectively know anything.

But –

Talent (unique skills that result in meaningful creation)

Judgement (our ability to shift and redirect energy toward useful endeavors)

And Purpose (the overarching sense of self that drives our very being and keeps each day awash in newness)

These become the new gold standard.

Book knowledge is so 1999.

Without those three tools in your toolbox, you’ll be considered a dinosaur to future generations. I mean, look at the kids today.

They don’t care about jobs, or school, or even getting paid.

Not really.

They just want to be happy and fulfilled.

If you can’t get with the fact that our very near future will be vastly different than what we now understand to be the status quo… you’ll be left behind, placed in history books (..tablets? holograms?) beside the all-knowing Boomers of yesteryear that simply couldn’t keep up with the times—

…and that is not a place you want to be.

So please realize, your brand spanking new resolution isn’t really all that important in the grand scheme of things.

What is actually important, is getting your act together so that you can be among the dope individuals taking advantage of whatever new technologies happen to surface over the next decade and maximizing your already formidable human capabilities.

i.e. Forget cosmetics (signaling), build the engine (competency).

Don’t be one of those people who sit around and perpetually complain about “how it used to be”

Please. For all of our sakes.

So in conclusion;

Stop planning.

Start doing.

And trust that everything will work out just fine.

Oh, and one more suggestion!

If Betty just can’t help herself and needs to plan something, try coming up with a single word to define your goals. Sure, have some grander scaffolding around it, but ultimately — boil it down to something practical.

Keep it simple, and keep it front of mind.

Rather than having a bunch of SMART metrics to keep up with, you’ll instead have one potent idea that can help you make better decisions in real time, keeping on a path of long term growth regardless of what the day to day craziness of life entails.

Example: mine for 2019 was alignment.

And since then, I wrote a book, made an album, released a podcast, started a blog, and traveled across the pond… all without planning a single thing.

You can do it too.

As Lao Tzu said, it starts with a step.