The Inspiration Hoax
Hint: We have everything we need.
When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.
Paulo Coelho
So, I have to admit something.
I tend to fear intimate relationships.
I can be pretty pessimistic at times about human nature.
Even of the people around us, the one’s we consider friends and family.
Long story short, I’ve been scarred in the past.
But, haven’t we all?
For me, it’s manifested in a general distrust of any and everybody — even (or, should I say especially) of those who seem nice.
Once I sense anything fake, I’m out.
It’s a defense mechanism I’ve acquired over the past quarter century.
And I admit.
Not the best tool in the box.
But one I employ heavily regardless.
Ta-da!
I’m not perfect.
Or even good, whatever that means.
Just a dude, trying to find his way — and help others along while I do so. In recent months, I’ve taken some time to recover from what life has become.
I.e. from divorce proceedings and general disillusionment.
As I write this post, I am sitting in my buddies backyard in the mountains of southern California. Just trying to live.
Breathing good air.
Drinking good water.
Went paragliding over some of those aforementioned mountains. Kayaked a bit in the Kern River (heavy on the ‘bit’.) Scaled some rock walls out by Hortencias. Soaked up some sun near Joshua Tree. Visited a few hot springs, hiked through some old gold mines, found a bunch of odd trails, witnessed more stars at night than I’d ever seen in my life.
Even camped out of a van.
The whole bit.
And in that time, I got to learn a lot about myself.
But as of right now, my focus is on you.
Why?
Because if I can’t enjoy this life with people around me, then really…
Is there a point?
And so, I’m not only willing, but excited to share my journey.
Again, not perfect.
Just real.
…For if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes
For this post, I simply wanted to pause, and reacquaint you with what I’m trying to do here.
Not just another blog, I want this to be a journey.
As I write, I grow.
And as you engage with my depraved mind, I hope you do as well.
Or, at least begin to see…
That we have everything we need.
Really — what I want is for us to grow, together.
To evolve collectively.
And in doing so.
To break the fucking matrix.
Like, on some Keanu Reeves shit.
It won’t be easy.
You’ll likely be met with resistance.
Not from random internet trolls, but from your own circle.
The very ones you call friends and family.
Why?
Because not everyone wants YOU to realize the true YOU.
Your authenticity is a threat to their mask.
This whole thing? This life you cling so dearly to?
It’s a trap.
What’s real, is the soul inside you. Know yourself, and you win.
Simple as that.
To be quite honest, still not sure why I’m writing these. At first just wanted to yell at folks for ‘making me this way’, and leave it at that.
But that solves absolutely nothing.
So here I am. Writing to you. Whoever you are.
And know that nothing is on accident.
Funny how things work out.
I’m just here to tell you that, even though maybe not ALL of ‘this’ is a lie…
Most of it is.
And that inspiration you seek?
It’s not in a school.
It’s not in a church.
It’s not in your friends. Or a book. Or a painting.
It’s not even in your family.
It’s inside you.
So go ahead and unlock that mother-
About the author:
Hello. My name is Toso Mohammed Haruna — or, “Sanni” for the uninitiated. I’m a writer, a thought criminal, and a podcast host.
If you’d like to connect; feel free to do so on either LinkedIn or Twitter.
Much love.
